Just know that I saved my own toddler clothes (ok my mom saved them) my whole life for my son to wear and when he outgrew them I put them back in the box for the next generation. I hope the next generation enjoys wearing what are, at this point, very old rags. I WILL NEVER LET GO.
Charlotte, you and the mother of my two girls need to talk. I swear, if I looked hard enough and dug in enough boxes, I could find a toddler size pair of Winnie the Pooh pajamas and a Snow-White Halloween costume, both over 25 years old. And several pairs of tiny shoes that a big toe could hardly fit into now. You know what though? I don't mind it. I enjoy looking at those and remembering too. As always, so well written and oh so conversational (in every positive way possible). Said it before and I'll say it again, it doesn't matter what you write, I'm all in....Says the crime fiction writer. - Jim
It's so lovely to look back on the things you've kept. I have held on to a few of the more sentimental items, I just couldn't justify keeping every single thing they ever wore, haha. Thank you once again for your support, I always look forward to seeing your name come up
This was the first writing I’ve read today, and it’s set a high bar.
I’m packing baby clothes away for my babies’ babies and wondering, similar to your spider pal, how decomposed they’ll be by the time they touch buoyant baby skin again. May need to reconsider.
Haha, maybe vacuum pack? The spider was honestly huge, and it ran right up my arm to my shoulder. I wanted to cut my arm off and throw it to the dog
Now wishing even more that I'd kept the tiny dresses though, maybe my daughter would have wanted them for her daughter?? I have kept my wedding dress in case she wants it one day, so at least I have that
This post was absolutely excellent! At first my favorite was your caption "Design by Jack Torrance." But you just kept upping the ante in voice and creativity, balancing wit and sadness beautifully.
I remember going through my oldest daughter's newborn clothes when she was 8 months old and just bawling in her closet (much to my husband's confusion). I do keep about 5 outfits for each age that I can't bear to part with. My mom did the same and it's so fun to see my kids in outfits I wore. I'll also say my mom, who dances on the razor's edge of being a hoarder, did finally let some old clothes and toys go 30 years later.
Lastly, the Peppa Pig stuffie story hurt my heart. I recently wrote a post about a similar thing - my six year old daughter's abandonment of her special puppy stuffie. I won't let it go, though. And if my husband were to even try to look sideways at that puppy, I'll start donating all the things he loves. Clearly you are far better adjusted than me.
Thank you so much! I remember reading your story about the puppy stuffie. It's so hard when they detach themselves from such things - it's a positive step for them developmentally and obviously that's amazing, but my word does it hurt the fragile mama heart.
"I swear if I recreated that man’s whole life in cake and jumped out screaming “IS IT CAKE?” every time he used a new piece of furniture he would not notice, but I digress."
This cracked me up, Charlotte!!
I wish I could tell you this will get easier for you when the kids are well into their 20s, but no....
“I do so hate it when he’s right.” - I literally said that to my husband this morning after he correctly guessed that a jar of peanut butter that I was using to feed our tots was expired. 🤣
Decluttering sentimental items is such a challenge. I am drowning in toys and clothes that haven’t been touched in years. Good job moving forward on all of the projects! 👏🏻
Thank you, I'm trying really hard not to cry my way through every task haha. No but really, it is quite a nice feeling once the clutter is gone. I've kept hold of the more sentimental items (each child has a massive memory box in my home office, plus I take about a thousand photos of them each month both on my phone and with film, they all have google docs with stories from their lives saved for them and of course there's this blog) and it is quite calming to be able to look at that stuff without also seeing pieces of paper with two lines of felt tip on them that for some reason I felt the need to keep, stained baby grows, teddies they never looked at etc.
Hope everyone survived the expired peanut butter, haha
I loved the music and Toy Story references in this post! Getting rid of things is hard, I never had a problem with moving on and parting with my belongings until my son was born. I have gotten rid of some things, but there is a lot I am keeping for the possibility of another, but there are some clothes I could just not part with.
Thank you! We kept everything after my first and second, but knowing there won't be another after the third has taken away my excuse to not declutter. Peach has a little pair of dungarees she looks adorable in right now, I plan on keeping them forever to make up for parting with the dresses
I didn't take one! I should have. On my new post you can sort of see it in the background of the bottom pic, but it's butter yellow now rather than slap-in-the-face yellow, so not quite the same impact (still not finished painting it though, things take a while around here)
“all of us mothers admitting one after the other that yes the days are long but yes the years are really bloody short and isn’t it awful that the people that annoyed us so much by spouting such nonsense have turned out to be right? “ - truly truly
Our attic over the garage is a hodgepodge of Christmas decorations, treasures from our childhoods (things our parents gave us and college text books we will NEVER look at again), and things I’m saving for our grandkids. We have the crib for our boys, clothes, Rescue Hero’s/Thomas & Friends/some many blocks, and stuffed animals. I get why you have difficulty parting with “stuff” that you don’t use or need anymore (and don’t you want to be able to give it to your grandkids? That was my argument for keeping as much as we have…) I mean, I’m sure my future daughter in law will surely want to wear the maturity shirts I wore when pregnant with their husband, right??? JK, I did get rid of those.
Honestly, CB, if we had more space I'd probably have kept it all, maternity tops for my future daughter in laws and all, haha. Unfortunately (fortunately?) our attic was converted into an office space and so we have very little storage now, so it's just not been an option. I've kept a couple of special outfits from each child, though, and have memory boxes for each.
I hope your future daughter in law appreciates your careful saving, Thomas & Friends never goes out of style
It depends how many we're talking about here. Is it a couple of items or an entire house worth? If the latter, maybe time to get Stacey on the case... (I still have my favourite bear from childhood, I'll never part with him)
Actually, the doll is only creepy in how old and ragged she is. She's a cloth doll, a Raggedy Anne, that, I think, my grandmother made for my mother. So, quite verging on not something you'd want on your bookshelf. And yet...
Hmmm, in my children’s old bedrooms the storage boxes under the beds are still filled with their precious primary school art and writings. My daughters are 38!
I love this. I have still kept the more sentimental items, don't get me wrong. Each child has a big memory box for anything special we want to keep. It's more the stuff that is very bulky or a bit meaningless overall (birthday cards that literally just say 'to pickle from peter' inside them, for example, and 'art' that is just one line of paint on a piece of scrap paper) that couldn't stay. We don't have much storage so things like the formula maker was nonsensical to keep as the baby that used it is now almost 5, and the current baby is exclusively breastfed.
The dresses were given away in a moment of excitement at the other mum's news, and the pig was given to a very excited little girl by my husband before he realised what he'd done, haha
Holding on to a few precious items is very important, I just fear if I didn't reign myself in now I'd end up keeping it all
Boys are somehow geared to let go. We build a plane and want to see it fly. Then we move onto whatever is next.
Your poetry for adding touch is irreplaceable.
Do you ever consider where your readers are whilst consuming your creativity and report?
My legs are still asleep.
A moment of wah... as a child I had a bag of plastic soldiers, a GI Joe, plastic swords that held slices of lime lemon or orange in drinks and a bag of marbles.
I remember digging holes into bottle caps with twist-tie handles to hang the camp pot from the toothpick tripod over an imaginary fire to feed the soldiers.
I remember aligning the marbles in array against the other front line for war.
I remember losing a $5 bill I hid somewhere.
Memories over 60 years ago, sparked by your thoughts.
I paused to think about how imaginings of some become memories of others.
What I receive from you, because I never considered it before... is what your feelings, not as 'feelings', but as a girl's feelings, a woman's feelings and a mom's feelings and how exactly precious however overlooked they are.
My electric and beautiful eternal queen was in Heaven when I found her, so I never had the opportunity to neglect all these feelings that were composed of her and your sharing exposes new considerations for how I might ponder embrace and love even more aspects of her.
See I like to build songs and collections of words, whether they ever fly or not, but what I really want is to dive into the bottomless pool of Dolores, sink and die there and never come up.
I have no intention of moving on to anything or anyone else.
Your sharings add color to my experience.
In 2010, eight years before she died, I wrote a song called Three Children. I didn't know anyone with three children.
She has two daughters and her son. His name is tatooed on the back of her arm.
"Three children and a girl who rocks my world
Now the storms won't be so cold
Beautiful lady to complicate my life
A beautiful story to unfold
-
It won't be perfect all the time
You'll have your moments I'll have mine
I promise to stay and see it through
An easy price to pay for loving you" (Three Children - Shall 2010)
Camas Winds is another song I wrote about comet loves that cross in time but are always blocked from each other.
She died in January. I found her in February and discovered she died on March first.
She's my Camas Winds so I reached, grasped and held on tight refusing to let go this time. That was 2018 and we've been together ever since.
So you see, sometimes your memories fill in voids I can cherish about my baby.
I also liked that saying 'shake a stick at'.
Common references across time and oceans are quite novel discoveries.
So never believe you are unappreciated, because you exactly are.
It doesn't matter how I go about it… I end up at a free subscription. The options seem to be follow 5 people or 3 publications but no monthly or annual plans.
So when I get help from substack I should be able to get it figured out.
Social media has evolved into an ‘all about me’ enterprise. So every inquiry leads to a mirror. My paid subscription to your account will be a tithe. Tithes aren't about me. Tithes are about you.
The other person and I who tithe don't warrant a social media platform tailored to giving.
It says it's simple. Go to your account. Click on edit subscription. Choose a plan. Click ok.
But there's no edit anywhere to be found. I think it's a website issue on the mobile render.
I feel like I should upgrade my follow to paid, because I like your content and mindset. As yet I haven't figured out how to do that on the internet or the app.
So if I somehow unsubscribe in the process, don't be alarmed. I'm just trying to upgrade.
I have the rest of my mortal life to prepare myself to completely spoil my girl for eternity. I want her to be happy she said yes to me. It takes a balanced love diet of attention attendance intuition spoiling celebration intellectual sparing and above all selflessness. I don't intend to be a floor mat or a forest fire, but teasing should cause just enough taunting to raise her fiery Irish ire. That's better than a sunset.
Some people think love should be like a placid sea, but try sailing with no wind. I need her waves to truly feel alive.
That might sound crazy. Did I not say I found her in Heaven and married her? Lol
You find someone who forces you to live and then you never let go.
Just know that I saved my own toddler clothes (ok my mom saved them) my whole life for my son to wear and when he outgrew them I put them back in the box for the next generation. I hope the next generation enjoys wearing what are, at this point, very old rags. I WILL NEVER LET GO.
Ha, I love this. May the very old rags live on forevermore!
Charlotte, you and the mother of my two girls need to talk. I swear, if I looked hard enough and dug in enough boxes, I could find a toddler size pair of Winnie the Pooh pajamas and a Snow-White Halloween costume, both over 25 years old. And several pairs of tiny shoes that a big toe could hardly fit into now. You know what though? I don't mind it. I enjoy looking at those and remembering too. As always, so well written and oh so conversational (in every positive way possible). Said it before and I'll say it again, it doesn't matter what you write, I'm all in....Says the crime fiction writer. - Jim
It's so lovely to look back on the things you've kept. I have held on to a few of the more sentimental items, I just couldn't justify keeping every single thing they ever wore, haha. Thank you once again for your support, I always look forward to seeing your name come up
This was the first writing I’ve read today, and it’s set a high bar.
I’m packing baby clothes away for my babies’ babies and wondering, similar to your spider pal, how decomposed they’ll be by the time they touch buoyant baby skin again. May need to reconsider.
Haha, maybe vacuum pack? The spider was honestly huge, and it ran right up my arm to my shoulder. I wanted to cut my arm off and throw it to the dog
Now wishing even more that I'd kept the tiny dresses though, maybe my daughter would have wanted them for her daughter?? I have kept my wedding dress in case she wants it one day, so at least I have that
This post was absolutely excellent! At first my favorite was your caption "Design by Jack Torrance." But you just kept upping the ante in voice and creativity, balancing wit and sadness beautifully.
I remember going through my oldest daughter's newborn clothes when she was 8 months old and just bawling in her closet (much to my husband's confusion). I do keep about 5 outfits for each age that I can't bear to part with. My mom did the same and it's so fun to see my kids in outfits I wore. I'll also say my mom, who dances on the razor's edge of being a hoarder, did finally let some old clothes and toys go 30 years later.
Lastly, the Peppa Pig stuffie story hurt my heart. I recently wrote a post about a similar thing - my six year old daughter's abandonment of her special puppy stuffie. I won't let it go, though. And if my husband were to even try to look sideways at that puppy, I'll start donating all the things he loves. Clearly you are far better adjusted than me.
Thank you so much! I remember reading your story about the puppy stuffie. It's so hard when they detach themselves from such things - it's a positive step for them developmentally and obviously that's amazing, but my word does it hurt the fragile mama heart.
"I swear if I recreated that man’s whole life in cake and jumped out screaming “IS IT CAKE?” every time he used a new piece of furniture he would not notice, but I digress."
This cracked me up, Charlotte!!
I wish I could tell you this will get easier for you when the kids are well into their 20s, but no....
It will, however, continue to supply great material for your writing. 😉
It's not a bad trade off, haha
It's the price we pay for our art....
“I do so hate it when he’s right.” - I literally said that to my husband this morning after he correctly guessed that a jar of peanut butter that I was using to feed our tots was expired. 🤣
Decluttering sentimental items is such a challenge. I am drowning in toys and clothes that haven’t been touched in years. Good job moving forward on all of the projects! 👏🏻
Thank you, I'm trying really hard not to cry my way through every task haha. No but really, it is quite a nice feeling once the clutter is gone. I've kept hold of the more sentimental items (each child has a massive memory box in my home office, plus I take about a thousand photos of them each month both on my phone and with film, they all have google docs with stories from their lives saved for them and of course there's this blog) and it is quite calming to be able to look at that stuff without also seeing pieces of paper with two lines of felt tip on them that for some reason I felt the need to keep, stained baby grows, teddies they never looked at etc.
Hope everyone survived the expired peanut butter, haha
I loved the music and Toy Story references in this post! Getting rid of things is hard, I never had a problem with moving on and parting with my belongings until my son was born. I have gotten rid of some things, but there is a lot I am keeping for the possibility of another, but there are some clothes I could just not part with.
Thank you! We kept everything after my first and second, but knowing there won't be another after the third has taken away my excuse to not declutter. Peach has a little pair of dungarees she looks adorable in right now, I plan on keeping them forever to make up for parting with the dresses
Loved this! But also, do we get a picture of the yellow fireplace?
I didn't take one! I should have. On my new post you can sort of see it in the background of the bottom pic, but it's butter yellow now rather than slap-in-the-face yellow, so not quite the same impact (still not finished painting it though, things take a while around here)
“all of us mothers admitting one after the other that yes the days are long but yes the years are really bloody short and isn’t it awful that the people that annoyed us so much by spouting such nonsense have turned out to be right? “ - truly truly
<3
I laughed, I almost cried. So good. 🥲
Thank you!
I can't get rid of stuffed animals. I plan to give them slowly to my best friend's daughter.
There's just something heartbreaking about saying goodbye to a stuffed animal isn't there? It's like they know, haha
YES IT’S EXACTLY LIKE THAT
Our attic over the garage is a hodgepodge of Christmas decorations, treasures from our childhoods (things our parents gave us and college text books we will NEVER look at again), and things I’m saving for our grandkids. We have the crib for our boys, clothes, Rescue Hero’s/Thomas & Friends/some many blocks, and stuffed animals. I get why you have difficulty parting with “stuff” that you don’t use or need anymore (and don’t you want to be able to give it to your grandkids? That was my argument for keeping as much as we have…) I mean, I’m sure my future daughter in law will surely want to wear the maturity shirts I wore when pregnant with their husband, right??? JK, I did get rid of those.
Honestly, CB, if we had more space I'd probably have kept it all, maternity tops for my future daughter in laws and all, haha. Unfortunately (fortunately?) our attic was converted into an office space and so we have very little storage now, so it's just not been an option. I've kept a couple of special outfits from each child, though, and have memory boxes for each.
I hope your future daughter in law appreciates your careful saving, Thomas & Friends never goes out of style
Does it count if you still have some toys from your own childhood, and you're (ahem) not a child any more?
It depends how many we're talking about here. Is it a couple of items or an entire house worth? If the latter, maybe time to get Stacey on the case... (I still have my favourite bear from childhood, I'll never part with him)
Sadly, so few are left. But I do have a doll my mother played with in the 1930s...
Oh wow! I say this with the utmost respect but... Is it really creepy? Some of these older dolls are real horrors
Actually, the doll is only creepy in how old and ragged she is. She's a cloth doll, a Raggedy Anne, that, I think, my grandmother made for my mother. So, quite verging on not something you'd want on your bookshelf. And yet...
I'm trying to figure out how to attach a picture. I have her sitting next to a Quanyin statue. Don't ask me why because I have no idea.
Well.... maybe?
Hmmm, in my children’s old bedrooms the storage boxes under the beds are still filled with their precious primary school art and writings. My daughters are 38!
I love this. I have still kept the more sentimental items, don't get me wrong. Each child has a big memory box for anything special we want to keep. It's more the stuff that is very bulky or a bit meaningless overall (birthday cards that literally just say 'to pickle from peter' inside them, for example, and 'art' that is just one line of paint on a piece of scrap paper) that couldn't stay. We don't have much storage so things like the formula maker was nonsensical to keep as the baby that used it is now almost 5, and the current baby is exclusively breastfed.
The dresses were given away in a moment of excitement at the other mum's news, and the pig was given to a very excited little girl by my husband before he realised what he'd done, haha
Holding on to a few precious items is very important, I just fear if I didn't reign myself in now I'd end up keeping it all
Ps—I lost track of the pop culture references you made that completely encapsulate my childhood and psyche….Love it!
Boys are somehow geared to let go. We build a plane and want to see it fly. Then we move onto whatever is next.
Your poetry for adding touch is irreplaceable.
Do you ever consider where your readers are whilst consuming your creativity and report?
My legs are still asleep.
A moment of wah... as a child I had a bag of plastic soldiers, a GI Joe, plastic swords that held slices of lime lemon or orange in drinks and a bag of marbles.
I remember digging holes into bottle caps with twist-tie handles to hang the camp pot from the toothpick tripod over an imaginary fire to feed the soldiers.
I remember aligning the marbles in array against the other front line for war.
I remember losing a $5 bill I hid somewhere.
Memories over 60 years ago, sparked by your thoughts.
I paused to think about how imaginings of some become memories of others.
What I receive from you, because I never considered it before... is what your feelings, not as 'feelings', but as a girl's feelings, a woman's feelings and a mom's feelings and how exactly precious however overlooked they are.
My electric and beautiful eternal queen was in Heaven when I found her, so I never had the opportunity to neglect all these feelings that were composed of her and your sharing exposes new considerations for how I might ponder embrace and love even more aspects of her.
See I like to build songs and collections of words, whether they ever fly or not, but what I really want is to dive into the bottomless pool of Dolores, sink and die there and never come up.
I have no intention of moving on to anything or anyone else.
Your sharings add color to my experience.
In 2010, eight years before she died, I wrote a song called Three Children. I didn't know anyone with three children.
She has two daughters and her son. His name is tatooed on the back of her arm.
"Three children and a girl who rocks my world
Now the storms won't be so cold
Beautiful lady to complicate my life
A beautiful story to unfold
-
It won't be perfect all the time
You'll have your moments I'll have mine
I promise to stay and see it through
An easy price to pay for loving you" (Three Children - Shall 2010)
Camas Winds is another song I wrote about comet loves that cross in time but are always blocked from each other.
She died in January. I found her in February and discovered she died on March first.
She's my Camas Winds so I reached, grasped and held on tight refusing to let go this time. That was 2018 and we've been together ever since.
So you see, sometimes your memories fill in voids I can cherish about my baby.
I also liked that saying 'shake a stick at'.
Common references across time and oceans are quite novel discoveries.
So never believe you are unappreciated, because you exactly are.
Shall
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, your 'Three Children' song is lovely
Charlotte it would be awesome if you considered voice over (reading your posts).
This allows longer narratives to be consumed on the fly. It also allows for more civil and safe driving conduct.
You meet the most interesting people in the oncoming lane and they're always extremely excited to see you.
Shall
I'll give that some thought!
It doesn't matter how I go about it… I end up at a free subscription. The options seem to be follow 5 people or 3 publications but no monthly or annual plans.
So when I get help from substack I should be able to get it figured out.
Social media has evolved into an ‘all about me’ enterprise. So every inquiry leads to a mirror. My paid subscription to your account will be a tithe. Tithes aren't about me. Tithes are about you.
The other person and I who tithe don't warrant a social media platform tailored to giving.
It says it's simple. Go to your account. Click on edit subscription. Choose a plan. Click ok.
But there's no edit anywhere to be found. I think it's a website issue on the mobile render.
I feel like I should upgrade my follow to paid, because I like your content and mindset. As yet I haven't figured out how to do that on the internet or the app.
So if I somehow unsubscribe in the process, don't be alarmed. I'm just trying to upgrade.
God's hugs,
Shall
I have the rest of my mortal life to prepare myself to completely spoil my girl for eternity. I want her to be happy she said yes to me. It takes a balanced love diet of attention attendance intuition spoiling celebration intellectual sparing and above all selflessness. I don't intend to be a floor mat or a forest fire, but teasing should cause just enough taunting to raise her fiery Irish ire. That's better than a sunset.
Some people think love should be like a placid sea, but try sailing with no wind. I need her waves to truly feel alive.
That might sound crazy. Did I not say I found her in Heaven and married her? Lol
You find someone who forces you to live and then you never let go.
I’ve met and married my match in Heaven.
Shall