The amount of laughter I released while reading this was truly cathartic. “the kind that waves on from the sideline, hot drink in one hand and a book in the other” ME TOO — and it is because I also have a parallel experience of my husband taking me on a ski slope in Steamboat Springs that was told to be “easy” and “not near any cliffs.” Turns out one wrong move and I would be rolling to my doom and also it intersected with a double-black-diamond and, well, you know how that ends 😂🩵
Your posts always make me laugh. Also I finally had my baby! (She waited the full 42 weeks before deciding to come out.) Now I have the same family configuration as you, but my third is a newborn instead of 11 months. Already dreading my husband going back to work, any tips??
Alina, congratulations!! So sorry for the late reply, my own third baby just turned one and I've been very busy crying about it 😅. How are you feeling?
My tips would be... Get some good earplugs (the kind that don't block all sound but reduce it to a manageable level) so that when all three cry at once, you can cope better. Be flexible, don't try to stick to too many schedules and just go with the flow as much as you can (especially with stuff like sleep - they all sleep eventually and it's not worth the added heartache of stressing about it when you're already tired enough.) If you have the means, hire a cleaner - if you're lucky enough to have people that will help you for free, ask them. Be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack, it's a hard job but I bet you're doing great at it.
Welcome to the world of everyone shouting YOU'VE GOT YOUR HANDS FULL! whenever you walk by. It's hard work here, but it's amazing, and it gets easier (I promise) xxx
Fantastic read! Brightened up my morning commute no end.
Two things were especially relatable:
- We are also in the pocket food stage with our son. He picked out all the red berries from the special K and lined his pockets with them to snack on all day.
- My wife was 12 weeks pregnant on our honeymoon (not planned.) We went to Italy with the express intention of spending our days in vineyards. The look she gave me when I drank the complimentary glass of fizz was bordering on contempt.
Is it normal to consider a third baby just so I can get the Artipope?!?!? 😂😂😂 I had a very similar experience with my now husband on the ski slopes. It was our first holiday together and I was desperate to impress him but ended up screaming and crying at him the whole way down! I think it traumatised him!!! 🤪 loved reading this, as always, laughed out loud in parts. Than you xxx
Haha, Charlotte, I can full relate to hurtling down an intermediate slope. I was confident and thought I was ready...I was not. When I looked down it seemed I was going to cliff dive instead of ski. It was hard pack too, pretty much a vertical ice rink. Being the rookie I was, it was basically the equivalent of an Olympic downhill course to me. Never forget it. Your hilarious telling of this story brought my vertigo enhanced, tumbling, cartwheeling, nightmare back. Still laughing. Thanks so much for sharing - Jim
Oh blimey, that sounds scary! The packed ice is terrifying, so much more daunting than 'fresh pow,' as the more experienced skiiers around me called it. We survived though! 😂
As a man, I don't think I can claim to have had baby brain. However, my wife and I reared five children. I am well acquainted with phenomena, and in many ways can appreciate the delightful chaos you convey with this essay.
Thank you! To be fair, we have nearly 7 years between #2 and #3. I can't imagine how it would have gone if they have been close together. Your posts make me smile because they remind me of the wild adventure it was when our children were little. Now, we're on to grandchildren and it is even better than they say!
Okay, where do I begin on this amazing post? First, the Napoleon Dynamite story is the greatest thing ever. Second, your writing was so funny and rich. I wanted to highlight a dozen lines and comment with YES EXACTLY. My favorite might be the age appropriate trivia facts from your husband 🤣 mine does inappropriate movies for "background noise" until I screech at him that there's a sex scene coming up. To which his reply is, "What? I don't remember that. It's only PG-13" (our children are 6 and 2.5).
But THE HONEYMOON. Hilarious because I had a creepily similar experience. My husband is adventurous to the point of illogical (in my opinion) and I'm very much the wave-from-the-sidelines-with-a-book, feeling zero peer pressure to join in. We went to South Padre Island for our honeymoon, off the coast of Texas in the Gulf. He wanted to swim in the ocean. Despite me growing up on a lake, I'm a terrible swimmer. He was on an Olympic level swim team 😳 so he is swan diving gracefully through the waves ON A RED FLAG DAY. I mention the red flag and he shrugs it off, saying "We are just crossing a short deep part to get to this cool sandbar". So I try to follow him and I get caught in a current that feels like a washing machine. He gets to the sandbar, looks back for me, and sees me actively drowning 🫠 While he did save me, he also tried to kill me. If I wasn't dirt poor with nothing to my name, I would have assumed foul play to steal my treasures.
Thank you! Oh man, the inappropriate movies. We had it recently with my husband showing the boys Star Wars. I had to point out to him that it was rated 12 so he'd turn it off - our boys are 3 and 5 so I don't know what he was thinking? 😂
Your honeymoon near-drowning sounds TERRIFYING, thank goodness he noticed you were struggling 😂
All of this is gold! Hilarious. I had a similar experience skiing, when I was misled about a ‘red’ and ended up way out of my depth/careering down a steep slope completely out of control!
I too am currently navigating the highs and lows of the school run currently, it’s more full on than I had realised..! Feeling for you and the challenging logistics with sling rejection etc.
And ah yes, so funny when a baby carrier becomes the most covetable item imaginable, always wanted the pink velvet or leopard print Artipoppe, of course had a second hand khaki Ergobaby 360 (which did become the most useful purchase of baby/toddlerhood/all time tbf) and have just handed it over to the Vinted gods but can’t expect much as it has certainly been well-used! xx
School run…getting there, can be pleasant when we have time and walk through the woods, it’s an absolute mission and feat of endurance in the rain, keep getting completely soaked. Have got rid of buggy as found I ended up pushing both kids home in it and it was exhausting. So now we have the scooters and I pull both of them both up the hill to get home on them…juggling backpacks/coats etc. Not sure which was worse. Hope your transportation logistics are finding some flow? xx
The amount of laughter I released while reading this was truly cathartic. “the kind that waves on from the sideline, hot drink in one hand and a book in the other” ME TOO — and it is because I also have a parallel experience of my husband taking me on a ski slope in Steamboat Springs that was told to be “easy” and “not near any cliffs.” Turns out one wrong move and I would be rolling to my doom and also it intersected with a double-black-diamond and, well, you know how that ends 😂🩵
That sounds terrifying, thank god we both survived 😂
BARELY!!!
😂😂
Your posts always make me laugh. Also I finally had my baby! (She waited the full 42 weeks before deciding to come out.) Now I have the same family configuration as you, but my third is a newborn instead of 11 months. Already dreading my husband going back to work, any tips??
Alina, congratulations!! So sorry for the late reply, my own third baby just turned one and I've been very busy crying about it 😅. How are you feeling?
My tips would be... Get some good earplugs (the kind that don't block all sound but reduce it to a manageable level) so that when all three cry at once, you can cope better. Be flexible, don't try to stick to too many schedules and just go with the flow as much as you can (especially with stuff like sleep - they all sleep eventually and it's not worth the added heartache of stressing about it when you're already tired enough.) If you have the means, hire a cleaner - if you're lucky enough to have people that will help you for free, ask them. Be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack, it's a hard job but I bet you're doing great at it.
Welcome to the world of everyone shouting YOU'VE GOT YOUR HANDS FULL! whenever you walk by. It's hard work here, but it's amazing, and it gets easier (I promise) xxx
Fantastic read! Brightened up my morning commute no end.
Two things were especially relatable:
- We are also in the pocket food stage with our son. He picked out all the red berries from the special K and lined his pockets with them to snack on all day.
- My wife was 12 weeks pregnant on our honeymoon (not planned.) We went to Italy with the express intention of spending our days in vineyards. The look she gave me when I drank the complimentary glass of fizz was bordering on contempt.
Thank you, Andy! How did the berries hold up? The biscuit crumbs are going strong.
Haha, I can very much imagine the look on your wife's face, definitely not the best timing 😂
Is it normal to consider a third baby just so I can get the Artipope?!?!? 😂😂😂 I had a very similar experience with my now husband on the ski slopes. It was our first holiday together and I was desperate to impress him but ended up screaming and crying at him the whole way down! I think it traumatised him!!! 🤪 loved reading this, as always, laughed out loud in parts. Than you xxx
I mean, I'd consider a fourth for one so absolutely yes, haha.
At least we know, after our ski slope traumas, that they love us for who we truly are 😂
Haha, Charlotte, I can full relate to hurtling down an intermediate slope. I was confident and thought I was ready...I was not. When I looked down it seemed I was going to cliff dive instead of ski. It was hard pack too, pretty much a vertical ice rink. Being the rookie I was, it was basically the equivalent of an Olympic downhill course to me. Never forget it. Your hilarious telling of this story brought my vertigo enhanced, tumbling, cartwheeling, nightmare back. Still laughing. Thanks so much for sharing - Jim
Oh blimey, that sounds scary! The packed ice is terrifying, so much more daunting than 'fresh pow,' as the more experienced skiiers around me called it. We survived though! 😂
As a man, I don't think I can claim to have had baby brain. However, my wife and I reared five children. I am well acquainted with phenomena, and in many ways can appreciate the delightful chaos you convey with this essay.
Thank you so much for this lovely comment. Five children is no mean feat, I tip my hat to you
Thank you! To be fair, we have nearly 7 years between #2 and #3. I can't imagine how it would have gone if they have been close together. Your posts make me smile because they remind me of the wild adventure it was when our children were little. Now, we're on to grandchildren and it is even better than they say!
Ah this is lovely to hear! It's weird for me to say because mine are so small, but I do so look forward to grandchildren 😂
This was delightful :)
Thank you Steve!
Okay, where do I begin on this amazing post? First, the Napoleon Dynamite story is the greatest thing ever. Second, your writing was so funny and rich. I wanted to highlight a dozen lines and comment with YES EXACTLY. My favorite might be the age appropriate trivia facts from your husband 🤣 mine does inappropriate movies for "background noise" until I screech at him that there's a sex scene coming up. To which his reply is, "What? I don't remember that. It's only PG-13" (our children are 6 and 2.5).
But THE HONEYMOON. Hilarious because I had a creepily similar experience. My husband is adventurous to the point of illogical (in my opinion) and I'm very much the wave-from-the-sidelines-with-a-book, feeling zero peer pressure to join in. We went to South Padre Island for our honeymoon, off the coast of Texas in the Gulf. He wanted to swim in the ocean. Despite me growing up on a lake, I'm a terrible swimmer. He was on an Olympic level swim team 😳 so he is swan diving gracefully through the waves ON A RED FLAG DAY. I mention the red flag and he shrugs it off, saying "We are just crossing a short deep part to get to this cool sandbar". So I try to follow him and I get caught in a current that feels like a washing machine. He gets to the sandbar, looks back for me, and sees me actively drowning 🫠 While he did save me, he also tried to kill me. If I wasn't dirt poor with nothing to my name, I would have assumed foul play to steal my treasures.
Thank you! Oh man, the inappropriate movies. We had it recently with my husband showing the boys Star Wars. I had to point out to him that it was rated 12 so he'd turn it off - our boys are 3 and 5 so I don't know what he was thinking? 😂
Your honeymoon near-drowning sounds TERRIFYING, thank goodness he noticed you were struggling 😂
😂
:)!
Could not stop laughing reading this 😂 What a way you have with words and birds.
Thank you! 'With words and birds' really made me chuckle
Cut to me, giggling in bed reading this. I always find joy in your words.
Thanks so much, Amy :)
Brilliant. Funny. Relatable. Heartwarming. Educational.
PS. My two bits re the school mums. Poppet will make friends, et voilà, their mums will be your people. :)
Thank you!
Yes, I think you're right. He's started to form a little group now, so I'm sure I'll start hovering around those mums at pick up soon enough 😂
Masterful
Thank you x
All of this is gold! Hilarious. I had a similar experience skiing, when I was misled about a ‘red’ and ended up way out of my depth/careering down a steep slope completely out of control!
I too am currently navigating the highs and lows of the school run currently, it’s more full on than I had realised..! Feeling for you and the challenging logistics with sling rejection etc.
And ah yes, so funny when a baby carrier becomes the most covetable item imaginable, always wanted the pink velvet or leopard print Artipoppe, of course had a second hand khaki Ergobaby 360 (which did become the most useful purchase of baby/toddlerhood/all time tbf) and have just handed it over to the Vinted gods but can’t expect much as it has certainly been well-used! xx
Skiing is scary, I'll hear no other opinion on the matter 😂
How are you getting on with the school run?
Terrifying.
School run…getting there, can be pleasant when we have time and walk through the woods, it’s an absolute mission and feat of endurance in the rain, keep getting completely soaked. Have got rid of buggy as found I ended up pushing both kids home in it and it was exhausting. So now we have the scooters and I pull both of them both up the hill to get home on them…juggling backpacks/coats etc. Not sure which was worse. Hope your transportation logistics are finding some flow? xx
You hooked me with that opening sentence!!
Vote 4 Pedro!